I am going to miss...

This.

DISCLAIMER: Long, sentimental post ahead. Consider yourself warned...

Friday was my last day working for Property Solutions. Let's just say I have mixed feelings - currently a mix of sadness, relief, regret and hope. When I was first offered that job, I was so excited. Even before the moment I walked in for the interview, I knew I would love it. It's hard to explain. I just knew that was where I should be.

Over the last 14 months, I've learned a lot about myself, met some incredible people, been part of some awesome projects, and developed some new skills (I'm hoping my new foosball talent will come into play someday). I can honestly say, I loved my time there. I don't regret a second I spent in that office. It was perfect for me. It was starting to really feel like home.

My life seems to follow a pattern. I get into a situation that I am unsure of at first. I make friends with the people around me. I surprise myself with what I can do. I ease into a comfortable routine. And just when I think I can finally be situated in one place...BAM! Change. Not all of this change is under my control. This time it was. And the decision, believe it or not, was a tough one. On one hand, I had an opportunity to persue a career with a company that was going places. I had friends. I had respect. I knew I would be happy working there as long as I could. I was finally hitting my stride.

On the other hand, I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get a world-class education at a top fifty law school. After three years of intense dedication and hard work, I would be able to really support my family if I ever needed to - and hopefully be able to help some others along the way. But to choose this path would mean serious change, which I always dread. I would have to give up something good for something that will hopefully turn out to be even better.

Obviously, I ended up taking the risk - accepting my spot in BYU Law's Class of 2012. I've had months to think about this change - about my last day of work, or my first day of class. I think I've gone from being sad, to excited, to nervous, to nonchalant, to stressed, to confident, and back to sad at least 500 times. I'm still not sure what to think. But, I've been through this before. I know how I handle change. I anticipate the end of one thing - try to imagine it in my head and then watch as it plays out before me. I get through the tears and sadness for what I'm leaving behind. And then I pick myself up, look to the future, buckle down and get to work. I put all of my energy and focus into what needs to be done before that something new starts, and that helps me build confidence again. And then, when the day comes, I walk headfirst into the challenge, with an attitude of success. I'm doing what I want to be doing - what I know I should be doing. And gosh darn it, I'm going to do it the best I can. And that is the plan. I have no idea what law school is going to be like. But I'm ready for it. I'm ready to learn. I'm ready to grow. I'm ready to be stretched to the limit. I'm ready to be put back on the path that is going to help me get to where I want to be. That's one nice thing about change - whenever it comes, I feel like it's a chance for me to start over. It's like I've been wandering around for a while, and someone picks me up and puts me back on the path I need to be on. I like that feeling. I can see what's ahead now. I can see where I'm going. And it's going to be great.

But before I go, I wanted to leave myself a reminder of what I left behind. I really feel like so many of the people I met and worked with while at Property Solutions gave me something that I needed, whether it was advice, or friendship, or a chance to be something better than I was. And I'm so grateful for that. Here are some of the things that were written to me in the card I received. I wanted to record them here, mostly for my benefit so I can remember them and maybe read them when I'm having a hard day:

"You are so sweet and so kind to the new guy. I'll miss you a lot!" - Jonah

"You are the best! I wish you all the luck in whatever you do. Just keep smiling and always hope for the best. And I am sure, the best will happen to you. :)" - Rahul

"It has been an absolute pleasure working with you. I wish that you didn't have to go, but I understand the need to move on. You will forever be in the heart of Property Solutions. We will miss you dearly." - Lance

"You are really nice! I will miss seeing you at girl's club! You are so dang smart, I wish I was as smart as you are! Good luck with everything!" - Caralyn

"I am SO going to miss you! I wish you the best of luck at law school. Don't forget us!" - Tammy

"It has been so much fun working with you! I am sad that you won't be here, but you are on to bigger and better things. I know you will be amazing in law school. I hope we continue to be friends and keep in contact with each other, because you are a really good friend. Love ya!" - Linds

"I will miss you! Thanks for all the good times. I hope you enjoy law school - it's an amazing program. You are great to work with and also a great foosball partner. Hopefully I still win after you leave, lol. Good luck with everything! Let's do a game night! :)" - Sharlene

"Even though I never played you in foosball, I know you would have killed me. Good luck!" - Peter

"I might never win another game of foosball without you scoring all those goals for me. I hope law school is worth it! I'm sure you'll do great. It's been a pleasure working with you!" - Larson

"It was fun working and playing foos with you. It was good to find someone else who appreciated Harry Potter too, haha." - James

"Don't ride your bike at night in front of Property Solutions. You could get shot. Good luck at law school and keep the lala recommendations coming!" - Steve

"You have been the greatest person to work with. You're smart and nice, and we were lucky to have you as long as we did. We wish you all the best in law school and in whatever else life throws at you." - Dave

"Jessica! You can't leave us!!! Ok, I know you have other things you want to do so we are just going to have to live without you. Thanks so much for all of your hard work and for being such an awesome co-worker. I hope everything goes well for you." - John

"You are such a great teacher. You have taught me the art of a tennis serve (still working on it!) . Thank you for all the fun times and for making work a fun place! I can't wait to become more acquainted with your cougar hats! :) See you at the games!!!!!" - Becca

"It has truly been a pleasure working with you! I hope the future bodes well for you. Boise for life!" - Jared

"Best wishes with school! You're the type that will be 100% successful in whatever you do. It's been great working with you." - Shessann

"Rock the Kazba in Law School! Best of luck!...And thank you for your most efficient tasks and for your gracefully putting up with my demands. You done well, kid." - Greg

"Good luck in law schol. You'll kick its #$&@*..." - Mark

"It was great working with you and always fun getting schooled in foosball. :) Good luck with everything!" - Jeff

"Well it's been great working with you! I hope you have fun wherever you are goin. You have the most amazing tutorial voice ever!!!!!" - Wes

"Jessica! You seriously can't leave. I have just decided that you are staying. Seriously. We will no doubt miss you, as will our clients. I have heard nothing but good things about you constantly from everyone. You have been a pleasure to work with! Good luck with everything!" - John (again, haha)

"I almost abstained from signing as a form of protest to your departure! But I caved. :) Cause gotta say you have been great to work with, always cheerful and super reliable, and I really appreciated all of your hard work here (or there) at PSI! Best wishes with everything ahead!!! :)" - Brett

"Wish you all the best in your future endeavor. It has been a great pleasure working with you." -Dharmesh

"You're a champ! Very professional and thorough. Thanks for all the great help you've always give us sales guys. Someday you should sue somebody for me. GOOD LUCK!" - Russ

"Breaks my heart to see you go. You have been so great to work with. I wish you the best with everything." - Alex

As you can see, I think I'll be missed. Maybe not as much as I'll miss them, but close. I only hope I can make some friends in law school as great as the people I met at PSI. It'll be a challenge though. There's not a better group of people anywhere. Reminds me of a quote I read the other day:

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. - Snoopy/Charles M. Shultz

So here's goodbye to some people I really like. And hello to something new.